Ask Your Editor: Capitalizing relative titles

Are you writing about your Aunt Helen or your aunt Helen? Have you gotten advice from my Mom or my mom? Do you know when you should capitalize relative titles, or do you just do what feels right? There are rules, my friends, and they’re pretty cut-and-dried, so here we go.

If you want to put a relative title in front of someone’s name, it’s fine to capitalize it as long as you don’t also put a personal pronoun in front of it.

Compare these two examples written correctly:

• When we asked Uncle Harry about his health, he changed the subject.
• “Uncle” and “Harry” are used together as his name.

• When we asked my uncle Harry about his health, he changed the subject.
• In this sentence, “my” and “uncle” are used as adjectives to describe Harry, but they are not used as his name.

These two examples are written incorrectly:

• When we asked uncle Harry about his health, he changed the subject.
• When we asked my Uncle Harry about his health, he changed the subject.

The same rule applies if you’re using the relative title without the proper name.

These two examples are written correctly:

• If you want Mom to agree to the plan, we have to talk to her soon.
• “Mom” is being used as her name, so it’s capitalized.
• If you want my mom to agree to the plan, we have to talk to her soon.
• Placing “my” in front of “mom” means “mom” is no longer being used as her name; it’s now a description of who she is.

These two are written incorrectly:

• If you want mom to agree to the plan, we have to talk to her soon.
• If you want my Mom to agree to the plan, we have to talk to her soon.

Any questions? Send ’em my way. Suggestions for the blog? I’d love to hear them.

I’ve got a get-ready-for-the-season-premiere-of-Dexter blog in the works. Stay tuned!